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So my dreams of being a good little vegetarian haven’t been totally squashed. We’ve actually had a few meatless meals since I gave up (mostly stir fry, but we do a lot of that anyway, so no big whoop.) I have noticed now that even going a few days in a row without meat, if I happen to eat a little bit of it, one of two things occur- either heartburn with a side of reflux, or some wicked stomach upset. We had Popeye’s last night, and I have been paying for it ever since. Let’s just say, my stomach wrote a check my butt couldn’t cash. Or colon, whatever. And tonight was Taco Bell (b/c Brian and I had a little spat, and dinner was served around 11:30p.) I’m still paying for both of those meals.

I am currently looking for new ways to do beans and rice. The dish from my childhood consisted of red beans, sausage, a box of Zatarain’s mix, and white rice. We had it often (and just a lot of rice in general, which is why I haven’t eaten rice in about 10 years. I got tired of it so I quit it ), and I never really cared for it, unless my mom made her from scratch cornbread. She doesn’t cook often, but she sure as hell puts her big toe into some corn bread and biscuits. Canned creamed corn she burns, but baked goods she can do. I had some chickpeas and saffron rice once when my aunt was married to my Uncle Ray (who is Dominican), and I really liked it. Sooo, I’m planning to redo old school red beans and rice by making a chickpea stew, and serving it over yellow rice. So far, my plan includes using a can of tomato basil soup, some balsamic vinegar and a few other spices (and a red bell pepper), and serving it over the rice. If I could make it like a paella, I think it would please me greatly. I’ve never had it, but it looks really good. So I will post my recipe for chickpea stew and saffron rice once I have made it

Also, I’m enjoying a couple of vegetarian/vegan cookbooks right now. One, “Vegan With a Vengeance” by Isa Chandra Moskowit, has a plethora of creative recipes with clever, punk-inspired titles (and I love the tips from the author’s cat.) The Fauxstess and lemon cupcakes will be given a spin in my kitchen fo sho. My favorite vegetarian cookbook ever of all time and forever is now officially “Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone” by Deborah Madison. I never knew that making a simple tomato sauce for pasta, from real live tomatoes, could be so easy. When she says it’s for everyone, she’s ain’t fibbing- the recipes are so simple, yet most of them have made my mouth water (the way she describes celery makes me want to snack on some, even though I detest it and always have.) It’s a big book, too, and it reads like a foodie novel. It’s awesome I think anyone, even die hard carnivores, would be hard pressed to not find something in that book that they would enjoy. And I’m not even into the desserts chapter yet!

So maybe I’m starting to view my original goal as less of a one month challenge to continuity, and more of a lifelong evolutionary process. So perhaps I haven’t really given up as much as I’ve just begun to fight

Ok, so I’m throwing in the towel. After much thought on the matter, I have decided that I’m not doing well with this because the time isn’t right. I have a really weird attitude towards vegetables and fruits now (which is odd, b/c I love fruit so.) Sunday night, I plowed through an entire bag of grapes, after initially not wanting them at all, because I had it in mind that “grapes are gross.” I like grapes, I have never not liked them, so it confuzzles me. Anyway, here is the food log from Friday- Monday:

Friday:

• Cereal w/ organic 2% milk, orange
• Either veggie corndogs or more cereal (hey I’ve slept since then..)
• Homemade focaccia with pesto, sun dried tomatoes, black olives and a bit of mozzarella- little pizzas

Saturday:

• Cereal and 2%
• 2 oranges
• #6 Baja Chicken from Taco DingDong. Yup, back to that…
• ricotta

Sunday:

• 2 orders of cheese sticks from Sonic (I really like cheese, recall)
• Popcorn chicken meal from Sonic. I paid dearly for that later, with some wicked heartburn and acid reflux. I did not miss that.
• Bag of green seedless grapes

Monday:

• Orange
• Hebrew National hotdogs (2) and chili, cheese, yellow mustard, Sunchips, Neapolitan sundae

So I am not doing great, but I did at least try a few new things. And I am happy to report that that will continue- I’m still perusing, marking recipes for vegetarian meals and snacks. I’m just not in the best frame of mood to totally commit currently, but with more planning, I think that in a few months, I may try again. Or I may find some other way to tailor it to my specific needs and personality. I’m not ruling it out There are always options! And I’m glad I tried at least.

I finally made eggplant parmesan subs. I wanted to like them so much, but I didn’t I tried a slice of the eggplant after they were all fried and still hot, and it had no real flavor. Brian liked it, said it tasted like fried zucchini. I’ve never had zucchini before, either, so couldn’t compare. I tried it again after the sandwiches were assembled- still not liking it. So it’s possible that eggplant is just another on the list of “foods my dad and I dislike.” Like liver and mayonnaise. At least he passed along his love of fresh fruit

The rest of the day was still meat free, and I’m still not really craving any. Breakfast was some Kangaroo brand pita chips and two veggie corndogs (well, more brunch than breakfast.) I had some strawberries mid-afternoon, and instead of the planned dinner, I had leftover bean nachos. My friend, Diana, just told me to try eggplant in a restaurant, so maybe one day I will. But for now, my eggplant days are on hiatus.
I’m sending the leftovers to work with Brian, and he can ask if anyone there likes eggplant. I think I’ll be relieved if they say “it usually tastes much better than this!” (Brian actually liked it, so not sure what to expect really.) And if they like it, then it just means that I don’t, and it’s ok. At least I tried something new!

Things are getting better, slowly but surely. I’m not really craving meat currently, so that’s a plus. Here’s what’s gone down for the last three days:

Day 11-

• Handful of cherry tomatoes and saltine crackers (we needed groceries)
• More saltine crackers for lunch (I think…)
• Taco Bell- 2 bean burritos and a triple layer nacho (meat free! and only 79 cents!)

Day 12-

• Bolthouse Farms berry smoothie, after some much needed grocery shopping
• Captain D’s- fish!!! I had to pick Brian up at lunch, and instead of being responsible and making lunch at home, we went out, and they were the least crowded (and I hate to say the lesser of all evils, but eh)
• Steamed broccoli teriyaki with water chestnuts, sesame seeds, Simply Asia brand sesame teriyaki noodles, and chow mein noodles. I made a sauce for the veggies, and Brian actually commented that he “really liked” the sauce, and I should definitely make it again He rarely says anything more than “it’s ok/alright” about most of my cooking, so that made me really happy. Plus, he’s not a huge fan of broccoli, so score.

Day 13-

• Lemon yogurt and an orange with a glass of pomegranate lemonade. Love the lemonade.
• Yakisoba brand stir fry noodles. It’s seriously ramen for grown-ups. So easy, so good. Next time I make stir fry, I will serve it atop a bed of these noodles. They are on my buy again list.
• Bean burritos/nachos with pico de gallo, black olives and nacho cheese. I just stirred it all together, baked it for 20 minutes, and served it with tortilla chips and whole wheat tortillas. I like the ww tortillas. They’re kinda sweet, so it adds an interesting flavor to the burritos.
• Sonic sundae with hot fudge, caramel and nuts. I needed ice cream.

I like that I can now see a Popeye’s commercial and not automatically go “mmmmm, chicken…” I feel it’s silly to say it’s getting easier (especially after having fish), but I am feeling so much better about the whole thing. On the menu for tomorrow (hopefully!)- eggplant parmesan subs and mini focaccia pizzas. They will make good little snacks for the next few days, because I still have some olives, and I found my favorite pesto (love) and some sun dried tomatoes. I just hope that I like the eggplant, and that I remember to take pictures. Oh, and I think I have lost 3 pounds. Our scale usually shows me fluctuating between one and seven pounds, but I weighed Monday and Tuesday, and the scale was showing roughly the same number. So yay for that!

Today was pizza. Only pizza. No wait, there were some saltine crackers in there way earlier, but for the most part, just black olive and pepperoni ( boooo, me) pizza. On the slate for tomorrow- grocery shopping, and my resolve to not only keep with it (well, start over and keep with it), but also to do better. My vegan kit from Peta came in Saturday, it’s basically a little booklet that gives celebrity accounts of why they’re vegetarians/vegans (Clint Eastwood, a vegan…who knew?), and details on meat industry brutality, and a few recipes. Reading about others’ experiences always seems to strengthen my resolve, so another goal I have is to read a little something about it everyday, as it may help. So here we go again! And hopefully a lot better this time.

The last two days have been a regular meat fest for me. Here goes:

Day 8

• Breakfast- don’t recall. I think it was probably soda
• Lunch- was actually dinner, because I get up really late. I was tempted to order an eggplant parm sub from Monjuni’s (in Ruston, La, and they have a few veggie-friendly dishes. I was just not in the mood for pasta.) Since I’m a weenie, I got the chicken parm sub. And breadsticks. And parmesan covered fries (those were sooo good.) I left the lettuce on my sandwich, something I never do, so woo for vegetables… I’m a riot.
• Dessert- Fried ice cream blast from Sonic. A regular sized one, so I don’t feel like a total pig. It was nice and cinnamon-y.

Day 9

• Brunch- Here’s where things went completely bust. I had a Sonic cheeseburger. For some reason, beef is a bigger no-no than chicken in my mind (like it’s not all dead animal?), so that has me feeling really guilty.
• Dinner- A number 6, Baja chicken from Taco Bell. I could have done so much better, but I figured I’d already slipped so far, that it didn’t matter. Yup, I am really terrible at this.

So, I have decided to finish my weekend of crap eating, and regroup, and do better. I’m even thinking of adding extra time to this, for the days I have screwed up. And, based on the advice of some of my fellow mark reps, I’m going to make my own eggplant parm. I can tell that meat makes me sluggish, even after not eating it for several days, then eating it again. I have to do better, and I will Time to make a grocery list!

I had hoped things would be going swell in this little venture by now- I’d be enjoying meatless breakfasts, lunch on brussels sprouts, snack on carrots…Not happening. Tonight, I really wanted a certain sandwich I mentioned previously. Not just one, but two. So, today’s food log:

• Breakfast- Cold pizza, meat picked off (1 piece), water
• Lunch- Diet Dr. Pepper. I had crazy heartburn, and didn’t want to eat, so I soda’d it up and took an antacid with a glass of water
• Dinner- Two Chicken With No Name sandwiches (with lettuce at least, I never do lettuce on a sandwich.) One could perhaps argue it was just one large sandwich, since they come on one folded pita round, but eh. It was two. And they were mind bogglingly delicious
• Dessert- Soy milk/ice cream shake. And now I feel so sick. It was good, and my first one this week (taking a break from soy every few days), so not having another until…who knows.

So, I am really struggling with my decision. It’s definitely easier for me to make meaty meals, or to just grab a burger or some chicken while out. I knew this would be difficult, but whoa, it’s starting to feel insurmountable. But progress, not perfection I suppose. I keep wondering if I’ll keep it up after August, or if I’ll even make it to the end. I do think that eating more fruits and vegetables (as previously mentioned) will be a good end product of this, and instead of beating myself up over supposed failure, I’ll just be glad that I tried my best and learned some new things. And I hope I do so much better tomorrow

I’ve been at my mom and dad’s since Saturday, and wound up staying until Tuesday afternoon. It was an adventure in crap eating I love my parents, but they no longer cook, preferring to eat nearly all their meals from anywhere that accepts drive thru or call in orders. Fantastic. Day 2 was innocent enough- We stopped at Taco Bell on the way down for brunch, and I got 2 bean burritos and one of those little bags of chips and nacho cheese. Not great, but I was craving a bean burrito. When we made it to my parents’ house two hours later, we decided that dinner would be from the new Taco Bueno (byoo-no, as my mom stubbornly calls it, despite muy mucho corrections.) It was a party burrito (beans and cheese) and a Mucho Nacho with no meat or sour cream. I was looking forward to those, because the picture showed them with black olives and tomatoes (yummy!) Nope. Just chips, beans and cheese. Clearly, day two was my own personal colon blow.

Day 3- Another Taco Bell brunch for me (the bean burritos and nachos.) Dinner was a baked potato with cheese, butter and green onions. I am not a real big fan of that particular onion (especially when so roughly cut), so they were picked off. Day 3 was not a particularly filling day, especially since we moved furniture for most of it. My most of me is still sore from that.

Day 4- Started innocently enough. My mom loves salads from Spirits (Alexandria, La, if you’re ever in the area- I used to be a fan of their meatball hero and curly fries. Their salads are awesome, too, and all dressings are made fresh daily.) They have a “half and half” salad, that consists of a regular green salad and some pasta salad. I’m not a fan of pasta salad, so I got the half and half with extra spinach. This is where I slipped up; I was feeling a little blah, perhaps from all the work from the previous day, perhaps because of all the burritos. I decided I needed something more than just salad. I came thisclose to getting my beloved meatball hero, but decided to get grilled shrimp on my salad. Yup, it only too 4 days for me to go “hmmm, I want something meaty!” Granted, shrimp are not exactly “meaty,” but still. So, I slipped. It was a huge salad, seafood aside, and I was full for the majority of the day. When 8 p.m. rolled around, I finally asked what was for dinner. My mom decided pizza would be good, and this is where things got a little “ugh” inducing. I go to the bathroom (hello, or rather, goodbye, burritos!), and the next thing I know, my mom is telling me “We ordered a Supreme and a Meat Lover’s pizza. We would have gotten a cheese or Veggie pizza, but you can just pick off the meat.” Yeah. Thanks. So, I had a few pieces of basically wet dough with sauce and cheese, and a pile of meat on my plate. And that was day 4.

Day 5- Leaving meat land at last! Breakfast was picked over, leftover pizza and water. I am drinking a lot of water lately, which is good, b/c normally, I’m all about the DDP. I’m so down with it, I might just bleed DDP. Awesome. Dinner was some fries from Wendy’s and a side salad with Italian dressing (and I almost had some extra cherry tomatoes for a snack, but I was pretty zonked out after dinner.)

Day 6- Started well enough. A bowl of blueberries and a glass of choco Silk. I had a killer headache, so after breakfast, I laid on my new couch (yay!!!!) and watched about half of “The Big Lebowski.” When I woke, it was 3 p.m., and my head was still being a pain in my face. So, a bowl of shredded wheat and cow’s milk, followed by three aspirin, some chow mein noodles and a large glass of water. I pretty much just nursed my poor head today and slept a lot. Dinner was cheese and black olive pizza (since I was so not in the mood to cook.) And yes, I realize I eat a lot of crap foods myself. And right now, I have a giant glass of ice water. I like it when I am craving water (which is odd, b/c I’m drinking plenty of it anyway). But craving it makes me feel like my cravings are leading to something productive. Maybe I’m crazy though.

So, I realize that to keep this up for the next however many days, I need to shape up. Part of my problem is that I am so notoriously picky. I am really a nightmare for anyone who would want to cook for me, because my list of “foods I like” is about 1/4 the size of the “foods I hate” list. I am also one to want to eat the same thing everyday for a week (see days 2-3) just to avoid making a choice or trying something new. I feel better when I have a real breakfast, so now that I’m back home (where the groceries live!), I’ll be able to just go and grab a bowl of cereal, oatmeal, or make some eggs and toast. Another challenge for myself is seeing past salads. Yes, they are tasty, quick and good for you (if done right), but they are also boring after a while, and I detest washing lettuce.

I have decided to try to make eggplant parm later tonight (HOPEFULLY!) And maybe some hummus for lunch. I’m trying to be proactive about this whole thing, and the only way for me to do that is to keep up the willingness to try new things. I just hope they both turn out better than that funky, squishy fake chicken. Yecch.

Today’s Menu:

• Frosted mini wheats with chocolate soy milk
• Large bowl of strawberries (yummy!), an orange
• Broccoli, red pepper and water chestnut mix in orange sesame sauce by Green Giant, with a splash of teriyaki sauce, chow mein noodles and MorningStar Farms Chick’n strips

Review on the day: Breakfast was better than decent, lunch could have been more than just a bowl of berries (but as one who eats based on mood, it could have been much, much worse.) Dinner- I was so excited to try those chick’n strips. They are seasoned, so they smell really good in the bag. They look like real chicken strip pieces. The taste…not terrible, but the texture, vomit. Imagine a cross between silken tofu and fatty chicken bits. My first bite of it mixed with the vegetables nearly made me sick. I was really disappointed by them (shocker, Brian actually liked them. I’m sure I would have liked them better if I weren’t easily grossed out by squishy food.) So I picked them out and completely enjoyed my veggies and chow mein noodles. I’d make it again, without the chick’n. The vegetables are another one of those “steams in the microwave in 5 minutes” deals, so the whole dinner (the chick’n cooks in 2-3 minutes) took a whopping 10 minutes at the most.

I will make this meal again, perhaps with fresh vegetables, and without the chick’n. If you don’t mind squishy food, then try them, you may like them. The taste was not bad, I’m just weird about food texture

For our last night of meat for a month, we decided to go out for dinner. We’d planned to go to The Pickle Barrel, a sandwich shop/deli with the best chicken sandwich I’ve ever had (if you’re ever in Monroe, La, go by and get the Chicken with No Name. It’s good.) They close at 8, and it was 8:05. Curses. So, we cruised through town for a few minutes, then Brian decided to go to China Cafe (also highly recommended- the food comes quick, it’s always fresh, and the lady that runs the place, Rachel, is so friendly and chatty, and always makes sure you like your meal.) I decided to get the sweet and sour chicken, Brian had the house lo mein. And we always get the crab rangoon It’s really sweet and tasty. And this is silly, but the Sprite was particularly crisp, cool and refreshing last night, as well. I could go for another right now.

I noticed in the vegetable section of the menu that they serve sauteed broccoli and water chestnuts. I love both of those, so I asked what they were sauteed in. Rachel told me “they come in brown sauce,” then we had a chat about vegetarianism. She said they could put tofu in with the dish, but I smiled and declined. They use silken tofu, and it’s just too squishy for me. Carrots would be good in it though I bet. I just hope the brown sauce is not oyster sauce. She also said that they have the only vegetarian menu in town (in Chinese restaurants, anyway), so I look forward to trying that dish.

I’ve been recipe browsing lately, and I have found a few things I want to try. Falafel, hummus, eggplant parm and a pasta dish with some olives, sundried tomatoes and pesto. I think some feta cheese will go nicely. I can tell already that I’m not going to completely forgo chee I tried the soy cheese we bought, and let’s just say I hope it’s better melted. It was so not great. I’m also considering getting a few laying hens, so I can be sure any eggs we would use come from happy, well cared for animals. I guess my other major life goal is to have a small farm one day, and to learn to make cheeses. I’m not much of a straight up milk person, because it makes me phlegmy, but take away my cheddar, and I’ll put your eye out. So now I need to figure what’s on the menu for today. I had some frosted mini wheats and chocolate soy milk earlier, and it was really good. It’s also really good in Kashi Crunch cereal. Very sweet. And, hopefully we can hit up the local farmer’s market this afternoon. I am dying for some fresh tomatoes and peaches! And so begins day 1…